Musings…Revelations…Once In A Blue Moon

It’s summer once again. Just last year, I wrote
about my summer escapade in my journal. Then nothing came after that
journal entry. The silence was not because of the lack of things to
write about but more of the lack of opportunity to write about the
wonderful things that happened to me during the rest of 2006 and the
early part of 2007. So allow me to relive the wonderful moments last
year and this year:

June 2006 (Manila-Cagayan de Oro-Bukidnon-Davao-Manila)   

I went to Cagayan de Oro for the first time with my cousin Kit. The
highlight of my Cagayan trip was the experience to walk on canopy
bridges, take a zip line and rappel several feet to the ground at
Makahambus Gorge. As the name suggests, the canopy bridges hang under
the canopy of old and towering trees. It was fun crossing those bridges
with the smaller trees below me. Taking the zip line back to the
starting point of the first canopy bridge was exhilarating. I was
hanging and sliding fast on a cable wire several feet above the ground.
It happened so fast that the next thing I knew I was on the other side
already. The next activity was rappelling 150 feet to the ground. That
was the most exciting part. I got to go first. Hanging on a piece of
cord didn’t scare me at all. I really enjoyed the trip down because I
got a 360-degree view of the gorge. I could just remember my disappointment
when my feet touched the  ground. After my cousin rappelled down, we
started to climb up the gorge through a flight of stairs. When we got
back on top of the gorge, my Tatay and Tito were there to meet us but
the unimaginable happened. I passed out after the long climb back up. I
could remember holding tightly to my father with my vision waning out.
I attempted so hard not to faint but as this picture suggests, I did.
The height, walking on the canopy bridges, sliding on a zip line and
rappelling down, didn’t get me but it was the climb up. Darn!

The drive from Cagayan to Davao was equally exciting. It was a long
drive through Bukidnon but you would never be bored because of the
beautiful sights around you. The pineapple plantations, rock formations
and the mountainside were so beautiful that I didn’t mind being awake
the whole time. It was like driving along the countryside of Italy and
the canyons of Arizona. I wanted to take pictures but since we were moving fast, I only managed to get one.

When we got to Davao, we were starved. We ate barbecued chicken in
this restaurant by the road. Getting used to the prices in Manila, I
was shocked at how cheap the food were in Davao. Too bad I wasn’t able
to wander around in Davao that much because I only had a few days off
from work. Kit was teasing me to resign from my job so I could stay
longer in Davao. Well I did consider her suggestion but I chose to pack
my bag muttering to myself that someday I would be back in Davao.

November 2006 (A Birthday and An Anniversary)

Since I celebrated my birthday last year, I have a hard time
remembering that I’m

25. When asked about my age, there’s usually a
pause before I come up with my
answer. Several times I had corrected
myself after having said that I’m 24. I don’t know why I get
confused with my age. I don’t think this is Alzheimer’s setting in but
just maybe there’s a part of me that wants to stay young. The fear of
"I’m-not-getting-any-younger" haunts me to this day and seeing wedding
pictures of friends and their cute little babies doesn’t help at all.

Also in this month, my boyfriend and I celebrated our third
anniversary. It’s another milestone for our relationship. It wasn’t an
easy feat for the both of us but we made it. End of story.

December2006 (Holidays in Cebu)

I went home to Cebu for Christmas and New Year. I was so ecstatic
to be with my family. I bonded with my parents and brothers. During
Christmas, I continued my tradition of gift-giving. Since I graduated
college, I also have become a Santa Clause just like my parents.
Before, I get gifts. Now, I give gifts. With the latter being more
fulfilling, I spend my weekends before Christmas on a Christmas
shopping rush. It can be tedious and draining but seeing the smiles of
the gifts’ recipients are enough to forget about what I had to go
through to get their gifts.

January 2007 (A Weekend in Hong Kong)

I spent four days and three nights in Hong Kong with my ultimate
travel companion, Kit. This time, there were only two of us. It’s not
really a big deal but being petite ladies posed a problem. Mostly we
got funny stares from other people because we were like two
unaccompanied minors running around. We went to Disneyland and Ocean
Park. The whole Disneyland experience was magical. It was like being a
little girl again. Ocean Park, on the other hand, tested our guts.
There was this one particular ride called The Abyss
where we plummeted 20 stories to the ground in just a split second. The
queue was short that’s why we went back to try it for the second time
and again for the third. The whole Hong Kong trip was a breather from
our usual schedule.

It’s officially the first day of the semestral break. That means NO CLASSES, NO WORK! How lucky can I get! I deserve all the rest in the world after running like a headless chicken for the past two weeks. I was so busy that on some nights I fell asleep right shortly after I went past the front door even without washing my face or brushing my teeth. But my subconscious mind couldn’t stand it all because for some reason I wake up at midnight just to drag myself to the bathroom with eyes  half-closed.

So I have every intention to sleep till noon today had it not been for the loud explosion outside the building that made me bolt out from the bed. It turned out that the electrical post was busted so I couldn’t go back to sleep for then it would be very hot. So I went out to eat my brunch. And lo and behold I had a feast in front of me. But before you think of roasted pig or something else, I had "lumpiang tauge", which is by the way my favorite, and eggplant omelette and durian as dessert.

You could never make me eat anything that is made of durian before may it be a candy or an ice cream but that changed when my tito brought home with him a real Durian fruit. I could still vividly remember my first time to taste the real durian. My tito asked me to try it. I didn’t want to be rude so I took a small bite. I couldn’t stand the scent that I felt dizzy at first. But I got used to it after several bites. And now I’m an official Durian eater.

After brunch, I was bored for the lack of worthwhile things to do. But I managed to pull out and file my notes. It wasn’t that exciting but at least I found something to do. Good thing I went out later today with my cousins and tito. We visited the ossuary where my Tita Monette is laid to rest and then we proceeded to the mall. There weren’t many people in the mall maybe because most are on their way to their respective provinces for the All Souls’ Day celebration. I’d love to go home to Cebu but I’d rather postpone it for Christmas. Oh I really can’t wait to go home.

Last week was a roller coaster minus the adrenalin rush. However I wasn’t up for the ride. It was too draining for me. Last Wednesday morning, I got a call from my father. He told me my mother was being rushed to the hospital for experiencing early signs of stroke. I was aghast. But more than anything else, I was really scared to death. Having heard the ambulance’s siren in the background was too much to bear. And being 300++ miles away didn’t help at all.

Waiting for news about my mother’s condition was a torture. Finally I got the news that afternoon. "She’s going to be ok", my father said. I could hear myself sigh with relief after that. But I’m not satisfied so I started asking him questions. "Can she move?" "Yes." "Can she communicate?" "Yes." These were just some of those questions.

Good thing my parents know the telltale signs of stroke. I just couldn’t imagine what would have become of her hadn’t she called my father’s attention to what she was feeling that morning. It really pays to be sensitive to what’s happening to your body. Tomorrow my mother will be discharged from the hospital.

So I would like to thank the doctors, nurses and staff of Cebu Doctors Hospital who took care of my nanay. Also I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to our relatives and friends who wished her well. Thank you to my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins especially Auntie Thez and Uncle Joel for doing errands for my father. I’m so lucky to have relatives who really care.

But most of all I would like to thank my Nanay Del for recovering fast. You just don’t know how much it means to me, to Tatay and to my brothers. I love you so much Nay!

Lastly, thank you God for making this happen. By this experience, you’ve brought out the good in us. You’ve also drawn our family together and closer to you. You really work in mysterious ways.

There’s nothing much to rave about today except for the fact that I’m alive and breathing. If you would like to know how my day went, it was really terrible. My students despite being special and adorable were really getting into my nerves lately. As much as I don’t want to reprimand them every second, I couldn’t help it. Running around, shouting at each other, seeking attention to self are just few of their tolerable offenses. Of course there were intolerable ones too but I’d rather skip them.

There were many instances today that I was in a brink of tears. I cared less if those brat students of mine saw me. It’s barely 2 months teaching these children but I feel like giving up. I’ve been evaluating myself lately. I’ve bombarded myself with so many questions. "Do I fit here?" or "Am I really cut for this?" are some of what I’m trying to seek the answers to.

I’ve been thinking if I’d be better off with gifted children which are also by the way considered exceptional or special. I’ve also been thinking of what would have become of me if I accepted that teaching position in one of the colleges in Cebu a few years back. But one thing is for sure I still love teaching. That has always been my passion and it will always be. Nothing will change that even if I get repeatedly slapped and hit by my students with behavior disorder and autism.

Well I guess I found the answer to my questions after all.

I just got back from Cebu tonight. My 4-day stay in Cebu was worth the time and money. If I had my way, I wouldn’t want to get into that plane and fly back to Manila. I’d rather stay with my family and friends. Leaving my loved ones behind always gives me a nauseated feeling. As much as I don’t want to think of it, the idea that it would be my last time to see a person always gives me the creeps. I guess I’m just scared to lose someone whom I treasure and love. I just couldn’t bear to lose another family member after two deaths in the family this year. I’m not just ready for another one yet.